by Eurydice (c) 1999

MEIN GOTT HAT EINEN STEIFEN

 

FIRST COMES DESIRE: BABY, BABY, CALL ME GOD TONIGHT

My mouth opens like a trap, my legs motor like pinions, my hair flies like shredded documents, I've been waiting, arms flailing, heat mounting, when OLE! God suddenly shoots through my veins, and I finally have a calling, as God ties me guilt-soaked to the stormy soil, God strokes me as if I were a stigmatic idiot-saint, but I'm naked wire, so don't fuck with me God! a deaf God probes my cushioned thighs and calls them pigeons, OH YES! You, stout God, drain my thighs of their lust, but God, better pray to God! because my turn will come, because I'm God-teased fat dripping over hot wire, I say HELLO! God, be my Stradivarius, I'll be Your noose, God scowls and stoops deadweight for His rite of entrance into my mortal flesh, my hollow head and pudgy tusch poke out from under my God who wiggles as I shake off the vast outdoors and pretend I'm parachuting, hollering YAHOO! I can create the world! God frowns and lifts me up by my holes like a bowling ball, sits me on His bare back, and flies me across His see-through oceans, licking my weeping wounds and checking out my tensed muscles in fleeing store windows lit by the setting sun, I somersault off and land ashore, as my feathery butt struts in front of my God, YEAH! I know God could now slit my bent neck like Isaac's, so I climb back up on God's bony desert lap, Gimme Your water, You stowaway God, God picks out grains of sand from my baby pubes and thinks I deserve a spanking, I'll suck until what I know is obvious to thee, God, I'll wrestle any angel, look at me, God! watch my thighs, I've imprisoned us here God, I am Godly now, WOW! God, I'll bite off Your holy tongue that nestles in my mouth, don't You dare screw someone else, GOD ME! God springs out of my body in and out of all bounds now, God, You're hard, to hold, like water, fuck any God who throws us no bait, You old miser God circling, drooling above, twitching Your Santa beak, aren't You dead yet? God, mad, perches on my prow, spanning wings so wide they hide the world in shade, OOPS! suddenly God slips out of my heart, wets me in saintly spray, HALLELUJAH! I shower my God who hugs and retracts, and I come out afloat and bright, UP! I bang my fists with laughter against the hard wood, I still straddle God, OH, OH! I spill God, my God is spinning around, my time is running out, I hastily blurt out some musty drab sounds, knowing I only need to get laid by God in order to make God, meaning that, to be God, one must fuck God.

 
 

THEN COMES POSTCOITAL SOBRIETY:  BABY, BABY, YOU'RE KILLING ME

At precisely 12 noon on the last Tuesday of that year, Eu knew the instant she woke up that she was dead, because her outer body lay rigid with a dense chill only known in dream, her pores had been rimed with firming yolky mucus and clotted blood, her dried and swollen tongue cleaved to her petrified palate and she couldn't lift her bluish fingers to inspect them, and at that instant she began to understand that we are taught the reverse of everything we need to know in life, and so she finally and for the first time felt fully dispossessed of herself, caught dead as she was in her any-old-day underwear, for, having gone to sleep the night before in some menstrually stained, frayed and sheer, off-white Victoria's Secret panties, partly because she'd been too tired to slip them off, but mainly because she enjoyed wearing, as if in privately heathenish secret, unladylike and abused undergarments which made her feel terrifyingly intimate with herself, she was now, being dead, of course unable to brush her filmy teeth and comb her sticky hair and change into the proper deathwear with which to welcome God, who she knew would be coming any minute to transport her to the Unspeakable Beyond, so, as she heard Him knock and then, as she expected, saw Him walk through her closed bedroom door and gawk at her distended breasts whose rock-sharp nipples peaked out of the faded red satin sale rack bra that was visibly cutting into her senseless cobalt flesh, and beam at her a heavy-lidded perfunctory wink that silently asked her, "Eloi, I'm come, are thee ready?", as she felt His meticulous gaze examining her down to her haphazardly protruding stubby pubes, and as she stiffly swooned beneath His fiery eye that was imprinting for all eternity into the Divine Memory the full image of her unclean high cut briefs , as she cringed with helpless shame at her soiled unreadiness, watching God bend, in His peaceful harmonious grace, over her fetid corpse, which she couldn't even smell, and mutely gasping, "Oh, Father!" as He leaned down and kissed her full upon her stony lips and put His trembling hand in her motionless palm to raise her up, EU at last knew that the meaning of liberty and fellowship and peace lies in the detection of all that's trivial in life and so, free of herself, that is free of her dirty underwear, she was not shy and did not resist the restless tongue of God, and thus was carried up to Heaven in full and clanging orgasm.

BODY OF GOD